2/11
2 days passed, 11 left to go
~~~
i feel so lonely now. sob
got a hollow empty feeling inside me..
my cousin warned me of this a few months back already but i never thought i would be affected this much by it. cause everytime we break up and a few times we even broke up for days and weeks without contacting each other. i thought the 2 years would be a breeze and blow over before i knew it.
but i was so wrong. its only day 2 and im dying
:(
talked to my cousin for the entire night and she told me it would be worse abt 2 months down the road. there would be times when he would only be dismissed at 11pm and given a mere 10 minutes for wash up and lights out. we wouldnt even be able to talk then.. and if he get caught on the phone, he would be made to stay back for the weekend to do extra duty..
sigh.
and the worse thing is, there will be a week whereby he would have to go outfield or sth and he would not be able to bring his phone at all FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK. :(
sob. im so gonna die tt week.
hopefully its when im in china so at least i wont feel so much pain

sad thing is, im gonna miss his graduation. sobs.
:(

hopefully he can take some leave and fly over to china to see me after he graduated (:

he called me a couple of times and sent me quite a few smses today. but tmr onwards there wont be anymore of them in the day time. he will start physical training and wouldnt be bringing his phone out
:(
probably we could only talk at night for a bit. praying that he sends me a gd morning sms tmr before he falls in

jus now he sent me a sweet gd night msg:
esther baby, sorry for putting u thru this ordeal. I'm missing u so much and its hurting inside. I hope that this separation will bring us closer together! ilu

~~~
(:
so happy..

these few days i was super troubled over how to talk to him in the future cuz he's not allowed to charge his phone in camp. so i did quite some shopping research these days. initially i wanted to get him a handphone charger thats powered by normal AA batteries. they kind of transfer the electric power from the battery to the phone. but it will probably consume loads of batteries so i went to find if there are better options.
today i found the ultimate solution!! solar powered charger. its damn cool cuz u leave it out in the day and it charges and then when ur phone no batt u can just plug it to the charger and it will transfer the power from the solar battery to the phone
(:
but it takes abt 10 hours to charge the solar battery. still, its fine cuz my bf can just leave the solar batt to charge in the day time then at night then come back to charge his phone
(:
then it will charge more efficiently if its plugged and charged by electricity which my bf can do when he is out of camp
(:

bought it immediately (:
but i am super duper broke(not a single cent left in wallet :( maybe just 10 cents), so i borrowed money from dad to buy it
(:
so happy that finally i managed to solve this problem
wheeeee

love my darling!! <3

====
today school was boring. penny drifted from our clique a little so its quite a sad day for us. we stayed back 2 hours to wait for our afternoon lesson to commence to learn tt the teacher couldnt make it today and had to makeup on friday
sucks
penny esp was damn pissed and didnt want to accept the fact cause she waited 4 hours in school for the lesson and it had to turn out like tt
disappointing
:(
i could have arranged driving lor
i havent been attending driving lessons for so long tt the school sent me a letter warning me tt the test date is drawing near and i better start my lessons again in case i cant finish
i still got 20 subjects to finish lor
damn
:(
then these days ive been trying to find slots but cant manage to do so. super sad
:(

sigh
then today i was thinking tt me and baby's 1 yr anniversary is on the 8th of august which falls on a saturday. however the next day is stupid national day so im not sure if he will be able to book out on sat
:(
sob. but i managed to console myself in the end and told myself that it's ok, we could just celebrate on another day instead
its really sad when u cant even get to celebrate ur 1st year anniversary with the first and only guy that you reached such a benchmark with. but the most impt thing is that we both love each other and have each other in our hearts all the time. of course its best if we were able to celebrate, but its not necessarily compulsory die-die must celebrate.

super late now already. havent yet studied for test. im so screwed
:(
missing u my most loved darling..
night