Wednesday, February 17, 2010,
All I want to do now is to hug you and never let go.
Just now was walking home from dinner with family. We were strolling back from a different route from which we normally take and it goes past this park right opposite my house. suddenly I was so overwhelmed by memories and emotions. Those times he and I would walk hand in hand round and round the park, chatting, sharing, loving and understanding each other more. It was simple yet blissful. That time we had a huge quarrel for 3 weeks, and he came to find me to ask me to be his again. It was there at the bench, by the dried-up pond that he teared up and i said yes. It was such a heart-warming and emotional moment we both cried. I missed him, i missed him more than words could ever explain. I missed him so much that all i want to do is to hold him close right there till the end of time. I felt like, I came home.
This time, it isn't three weeks. It's already been more than 5 months since I've last seen him. And he belongs to someone else now. Every single day, as much as I don't wanna show it or admit it, is sheer torture. Every single day I have to persuade myself not to cry. Every single day, I experience wave after wave of turmoil, each one harder to suppress, each one bringing back floods of memories.
I miss you John. I miss you so much more than you would imagine or comprehend.
Baby I love you and I know I would for a long long time..
My plan is to forgive and forget; forgive myself for being so stupid, and forget that you ever existed.
8:27 PM
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
